Video
0

The difference between oldest child and their siblings and how that affects their outlook.


Tommy is my oldest son. The kid like I have mentioned in all my other blogs is really smart. Tommy turned five on the 20th. I don’t know what it is but his attitude in life is changing all the sudden. He asks me all the time “Mommy do you love Dil more than you love me”? And I have to answer him the truth,” I love you both the same baby but since you brother is younger I have to look after him a little harder than I would with you” So he decides to do whatever his 2 year old bother does. Is it a phase? I am not sure because I believe all of the oldest children feel some sort of way about their siblings. We are not only very protective of our younger siblings but we are very jealous of them at the same time. And apparently it starts at a young age. How many of you can say you were the oldest child and you felt neglected sometimes because of your younger siblings? Unfortunately that’s not something that can be fixed, its not like we can throw the other children away so that the eldest one is happy. No that wouldn’t work ha. But I guess you can spend individual time with your eldest child so that they feel special and loved. I honestly don’t have a favorite, I love both of my children so much it would break me if I ever lost them. But since Dil screams and cries and breaks and throws things, mommy has to be up his butt.
I remember when I was a child, I am an eldest child as well, I would flip out all the time just to get any kind of attention since my younger sister got all the good attention. I became the bad apple of the family because I learned to deal with everyone by acting out, where as my younger sister worked hard to succeed. The harder she worked the more I failed. I felt like a very neglected child. Unfortunately as you grow, those feelings follow you, and haunt you. There are still times I feel that horrible alone and worthless feeling I felt as a child. That’s what scares me about my little Tommy. I can already see the resentment in his eyes when it comes to his little brother. So I am trying to come up with a game plan. How do you stop these feelings before they erupt into something they never were suppose to be.
My first idea really is to take your children out on by one and do something special with them, even if its just a walk along without the other sibling (which I know is hard for us single mothers out there) or maybe plan a special day revolved all around that child. I know one thing I need to do better as a mother is listen to my son. Because sometimes all he wants to do is talk to me but I end up having to say I am busy or something. My kids deserve the world and it hurts when one of them feels like they are not loved by me. Has anyone ever experienced this or have comments on the eldest child problem. I know there must be some of you out there that have experienced this eldest child problem. Either with your kids or even within yourself. It hurts to hurt.