music and parenting….


I know that’s a weird subject, how does music relate to parenting? Well actually it has a lot to do with it. If you think about it from the moment most women conceive they hum or sing or incorporate some songs or music into their children while inside the womb. For example, when my mother was pregnant with my brother, I would go up to her stomach and I would sing “Hooked on a feeling” to him. Honestly, when he was born I would sing it to him and you could see on his face he knew the song, its just crazy how much impact music has on a child.

 With Tommy, I would hum songs here and there, and the only way the child would drift off to sleep when he was little for naps and everything else was if I sang to him. I sang songs from all time low, modest mouse, and basically any song that came to head. But his song, because both of my children have their own special song, was “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I wanted to incorporate that song into his life in hopes for him to become that kind of man. To this day, he still lights up whenever I sing it to him. It is his song, and when mommy sings it to him in brings him a type of comfort no T.v show or anything or anyone else could give him. I love it, the true honest love and honest affection that you give that child and the feelings that he/she recieves by just singing certain tunes to your baby. I believe its one of the best forms of therapy in some cases for some children. When Tommy has a bad day, I throw on one of his favorite songs and you can see his mood change from whatever he was feeling to positive. I mean we as adults know how that is, and how it feels, it honestly starts from birth.

   Now with Dil, when I was pregnant with him I swore up and down I was going to have a girl. I would listen to the kinks song “Lola”, over and over again. Yes I know its about a transvestite but I love the song and I love that name HA HA. Anyway, I would sing it all the time when I was pregnant, even after I went into the doctors and found out that my lola was actually a little boy. But it was okay I love him so much and wouldn’t have it any other way. But even with him being a boy my obsession with the song at that point did not subside. So when Dil was born he was a colic baby, he cried CONSTANTLY. I had no sleep for 8 weeks, and if he did let me fall asleep at all is wasn’t for very long. The only time he would stop crying is when he was laying with his head on my chest and I was singing Lola, the only song he responded to believe it or not. When Dil was 7 months old he got very very sick. He came down with RSV and had a fever of 104. I took him to the hospital immediately, nothing was bringing his temp down. We were sitting at children’s hospital, his heart rate was completely out of control. The heart monitor was going crazy and nurses were in and it was just absolutely terrifying. So I did the only thing I could think of, I laid my baby on my chest and I sang his song. L. O . L . A. LOLA HA HA. Anyway, every time I started  singing to him, his heart rate would drop to normal, the beeping would stop, and he was breathing better then he had been before. I was in shock and awe, something so simple, singing a simple song, was helping to save my baby’s life. He was put in isolation on the intensive care unit, and I didn’t leave my baby’s side, I slept in the crib they had him in with him, and cried and prayed. I swear I must have sang that song 1000 times in that 36 hour period, but my baby started getting better, and started to respond and started to come to. My baby was getting better, and I have to thank “the kinks”. I know that might sound funny, but I believe in my heart and from what I saw that, that song helped save my baby’s life that day. 

 All in all, music has such an impact on many peoples lives, but with children, I feel like music can be a key to unlock their emotions, or it could be used as a tool to make your child feel comfort and calm. I believe that music should be incorporated in all parenting styles because of the impact it has on your children. I know that everyone listens to music and everyone sings lulibies to their babies, at least most parents do at one point or another, but I feel like music can be used in so many ways. My boys at the end of the day have a connection with me and an unbreakable bond due to them having their own song. In a way they feel like that song was made for them. Its amazing to see the responses in children when it comes to these kinds of things. My appreciation for music I hope follows down the line and embeds itself into my own children. I honestly believe it already has, and am thankful for such an artistic tool to use to make them smile when their down, or make them fall asleep when they can’t or make them appreciate life, or the little things, or just the impact it has on their emotions and on our bond.

This song is just something that I listen to for myself, to get myself back on track.

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