The effects of only child syndrome, How we play into it as parents.


My brother Phil is 5, we are 20 years apart. When Phil was born the closest sibling to his age was 14 years old. According to a lot of research and studies I have read, Phil since he is so distant in age from my sisters and I, has only child tendencies. First let me say, my  mom being 40 when she had him, makes a huge difference in how she parents today rather than when we were little. I have noticed over the years that Phil has only child syndrome. My mother always tried to say that since our children were so close in age that Phil felt like he had a brother but I don’t believe it. 

 Phil, does not eat anything he doesn’t want to eat. He has to be the pickiest kid in the world. I bought him a ham hoagie one time, and he absolutely refused to eat it. So I started watching my mom to see how she handles this situation, and she gives in to whatever he wants. If Phil wants to eat a bag of Doritos for dinner, he’s aloud. I have been helping with raising him since the day he was born and honestly he hates when he’s with me because I don’t  play those rules. I am sure most can relate but when we were kids we were forced to sit at the table until we tried whatever it was that we did not want to eat. Phil doesn’t have those rules and when I tried to have him do that when he stayed at my house he refused, and didn’t end up getting anything else to eat that night. When I told my mother what I had done, she was furious with me. I couldn’t understand it because this is the same woman who tried to make me eat asparagus so I threw it against the wall ha. Then I realized its because Phil is the baby, and Phil is the only boy, so therefore Phil gets a different kind of treatment.

 When families have only one child, I believe that they spoil that child which doesn’t really prepare them for the real world. With Phil and his stubborn picky eating habits, he is not getting the nutrition he needs. Phil lives on Doritos and chicken nuggets, and my mother sees no issue with this. When it comes to my own kids, since I do make them try everything, they have a larger selection of foods they like to eat and they are healthy babies. Health concerns me when it comes to Phil, and since he’s aloud to have whatever he wants, he probably won’t start getting it

Lately, even though I know he just started kindergarten which could honestly change the way a child reacts to their environment, he has had a lot of attitude. He looks at my mother some days and says mom unless you do this/give me that your not the best mom anymore. So my mom says to him Phil I don’t care moms are aloud to say No sometimes. Then he says well if you say No to me then I won’t do what you say. If he would have said something like that to me his butt would be as red as that beautiful apple that sits on a teachers desk on the first day of school. But my mother deals with it a different way. When I was a kid, my butt would have been beaten. But Phil got a little tap on the butt and put in the shower. He knows he has control of the situation in the house, he plays the parents and buts them against each other. He is completely spoiled. I honestly don’t know if I would do the same if I had one child instead of two, but it does make me sick to my stomach watching him sometimes. I have seen other families with only children, and honestly I feel like there are a lot of parents who play into their one child. Every child that a couple has is special, from one kid to 10, we love them all the same. But those who have only one child I feel put to much into it. They let their children become out of control. I don’t know if its out of fear of being hated or loved less, or if they become over indulged in their one very special child. Now when I write this I do not mean to offend anyone that I might be, I just am voicing my opinion on what I observe.

Only children are extremely loved, which I believe is true as well for Phil. But honestly, I wonder sometimes if he is as spoiled as he is because of my mom’s age as well. My mom being older then she was with us, has made her a bit of a lazier parent. She doesn’t work as hard to get Phil going, and as I have said before I have had a huge hand in raising him as well. I remember when I was potty training him, I would have him using the potty all week long, then my mother would come home and leave for the weekend, and Phil would be back in diapers. She is lazy. I can’t blame her to much though because after Phil was born, we found out my mom had cancer and I think that plays into why she doesn’t want her son to be mad at her. I am sure their are a lot of reasons why families spoil their only child, but it is still some thing I am quite interested in following with other people to find out!. So world, let me know what you think about this topic, I would love to have a debate!

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